The secret life of the Chinese Mistress

The Chinese Mistress 

In 'The Beijing Beauties' or Book 3 of 'The Beijing Family' book series, I tell the story of Chloe, a mistress to a Chinese billionaire and the ultimate decision she has to make of whether she wants to stay with her married boyfriend or leave him and start a whole new life on her own. She's approaching 30 and wants to start a family. She then flies to Los Angeles to confront him. Will she stay with him or leave him for good?

I've met quite a few mistresses to wealthy Chinese men in my real estate career. There seems to be many variations of an age old cultural tradition that dates back thousands of years and it's not just the Chinese. Some call them Xiao San or 'Little Third' which describes a woman who is a girlfriend or mistress to the married husband. Sometimes the wives know about these mistresses, just as many of their own successful fathers had paramours on the side besides their own mothers. It was part of the familial norm and they are used to it. Sometimes the wives have no knowledge about their devious husbands carrying on trysts behind their back. Discovery sometimes led to raging outbursts that make the news including death threats.

Then there is Ernai - 'Second Wife' where the mistress or second wife is welcomed into the inner circle of the married husband as a second wife, not by legal marriage. She is introduced to the wife and her kids and sometimes they all live in the same household and their children. If the second wife or maybe even third and fourth have children, they refer to each other as step-siblings.

I've heard both terms used interchangeably and the role of a mistress is often not as clear cut. Most likely, she is custom blended to fit the needs of herself, her boyfriend and the relationship. Although many might think they are young and beautiful females, that may not always be the case. I've seen them in all ages, genders including transgender varieties, shapes, sizes, social, economic backgrounds and even marital status. Some become mistresses for love, some for financial support or gain. Basically, they all mean one thing - an infidelity occurring in the marriage with a third party that is providing something of value to the relationship.

I’d like to consider the Chinese mistress as modern day concubines.  Thousands of years ago when Emperors ruled China, many of them believed that sleeping with many women gave them immortality. In their palaces, there were hundreds of concubines that dwelled along with the Emperor. The men that worked in the palaces were eunuchs to ensure purity in lineage. Sometimes poor rural families would offer their beautiful daughters as concubines to the palace which was deemed an honor.  Besides, it eased the pressure on the poor parents in having to feed one more person in the family, especially a girl when they prize a son.    

Imperial Concubines that lived in the palace

There was one concubine in particular that broke the barriers of being a concubine and rose to becoming the Dowager or Empress of China from her modest beginnings - Xixi. Giving the Emperor his only son, she used her power, intelligence, charm and natural leadership abilities to become the ruler of China during the Qing dynasty for 47 years.

Today, wealthy Chinese men collect mistresses as a status symbol, just as the emperors did before,  nothing has changed.

China's Mistress Village - Oprah Winfrey Network

When I was in grade school, I had a good friend who lived in a beautiful home in an affluent part of Los Angeles in the hillside.  Her father had a successful business in Taiwan where he spent most of his time. She lived with her mother and sister in Los Angeles where they both attended school. Later as I got older, I learned that her mother was originally her father’s mistress who was quite a home wrecker. They eventually married and through time, lived separate lives. I wouldn't be surprised if her father continued to have mistresses on the side aside from marrying one. 

In college, I had another good friend who came to our home for dinner. While my mother was making dinner, we chatted. In our friendly conversation, she divulged that she is the daughter of her father’s second wife. It was from her, I learned that some successful business men in Asia take on many wives besides the primary one that is legally bound to the marriage. She lives in their main house along with the children of her father’s first wife by legal marriage like step siblings. It was interesting. They all lived together in one big happy family.

In recent years, I helped many nouveau-riche Chinese arriving from overseas purchase real estate in Southern California as a real estate broker. Almost all of the more successful business men had mistresses on the side and often sought the company of prostitutes and occasional flings. I was also shocked to see how easily some of the women that worked at massage parlors or low level service ended businesses in the San Gabriel Valley offered themselves as consorts and evening companions in exchange for quick financial gains. San Gabriel Valley is an area in Los Angeles county heavily represented by Chinese from the mainland - mainly as immigrants and newcomers. Unlike the notion of earlier immigrants from China that were poor and migrant, the newest wave of immigrants from China in the last decade are the wealthiest from China. These women gave servitude to these men in exchange for material comforts that gave no assurance or promises of a future. Yet they didn't care, just as easily they didn't think twice about them being married. The men were overseas and away from the watchful eye of their wives. When the cat is away, the mice will play.

A few, however, made out better. They are smarter and more shrewd. More than the occasional flings as their less fortunate sisters, these calculated opportunists were kept as full time mistresses in beautiful homes surrounded by material comforts. In the city of Arcadia, there are ‘Mistress Villages’, where mistresses live in certain areas of the city that is well known to be teeming with new immigrants from China with new money. Sometimes these ambitious mistresses are homewreckers. They have the education, smarts and family background to conquer and divide themselves into the marriage as the new wife. Sometimes they are only in the affair for its benefits. Perhaps the wealthy Chinese billionaire can help her financially as she is from a poor family background. Or he can give her connections that she wouldn't acquire on her own or give her money to help her start her business.

It's been my experience that these calculated opportunists are quite savvy.  They received all the  financial perks of a wife with the freedom of a girlfriend while being single and free. They didn't have to contend with overbearing and controlling Chinese mother in laws, attend boring and obligatory family gatherings and deal with the cultural norms and expectations of a dutiful Chinese wife. Many received financial perks like a home, car and clothes that they wouldn't be able to acquire on their own. I'm not condoning what they do or praise their chosen path. Nor am I challenging the fundamentals of marriage from a political, religious or moral standpoint. I am simply making an observation. 

Arcadia, the Mistress City

In my job as a real estate broker, I’ve come across a good handful of a mistresses purchase homes  with their boyfriends' money or helping her wealthy boyfriend complete his home purchase while he is back in Asia. Sometimes these women are on the man’s payroll and are acting on his behalf as a secretary or assistant and they close escrow on his behalf.  Usually, she lives in a very nice home by herself, drives a nice car and most definitely adorns herself with the best that his money can buy. I have become friendly with a few of them through the years; enough to consider them acquaintances, which gave me material to write about a character like Chloe and develop her story.

Every year, hundreds of young women from the poor countryside of China flock into the major cities like Beijing or Shanghai looking for opportunities. Often they find themselves as mistresses to wealthy married men. Some are as young as 16 and date a married man in his 40's and 50's! Pretty disgusting. Isn't that illegal in the US? But it' a path they choose and this practice has been around for centuries and will be around for ever more. 

Does China have an Immense Generation Gap?

China and its immense generation gap

The Industrial Revolution spanned over 100 years in the United States. In China, it took place in less than 40 years. So for Americans, it's like having your grandparents as your parents. That's how fast China has changed. In 'The Beijing Youths', I delve into the generation gap occurring between Simon Wang and his son Greg and the conflict that carries throughout the book. 

In the 1960's and 70's, China was gripped in the Cultural Revolution or its Dark Ages. The country was ruled by Chairman Mao Tse Tung. He was a ruthless dictator that strived to eradicate the class inequalities of generations before and crush any signs of capitalism or the bourgeois class. In its place, he instituted socialism with "Chinese Characters" where citizens were required to be indoctrinated in widespread communal rural living. He hoped to level the playing field for everyone by having them work in the country fields but the system failed. He even developed 'The Little Red Book' where he cites his own quotes for civilians to recant. If one was caught not memorizing his ideologies or having the book handy, they were punished. He cut off China from the rest of the world by controlling the media, censoring mail and correspondence with the outside world and making its citizens prisoners of their own country.

Chairman Mao's 'Little Red Book' 

In the process were years of poverty, blood shed, brutality and violence from the Red Guards that wielded their ruthless power onto the people and famine that killed over 60 million people. An ideaology to purify their generation from the capitalist and money grubbing greedy past failed and massacred many. At the end, many believed that the Cultural Revolution was a social movement that benefited a few in Beijing including Mao at the cost of millions throughout the country. After ten years of bloodshed, Mao and his co-conspirators also known as the 'Gang of Four' that included his last wife were outsted in a publicly humiliating court trial where they were thrown in jail. The people suffered enough.  

Chairman Mao Tse Tung 

China's Cultural Revolution or the Dark Ages

Quoting the Little Red Book 

Allegiance to Mao and his Little Red Book 

Burning of precious artifacts that often included books, jewelry and anything of personal wealth

Public humiliation of anyone accused of being a capitalist, an entrepreneur, an artist, a teacher or anyone that went against the Mao regime or classified as dissidents. Punishments would sometimes mean brutal beatings, cutting off of body parts, being buried alive or thrown in labor camps, working in freezing temperatures with no clothes on.

I've heard so many stories from friends, family and clients of the ravages of the Cultural Revolution during that time.

From their stories, I notice the distinct vast generation gap between the parents and their children today. China remains a communist country but it is brimming with modernism in every facet of  an urban metroplis that was achieved at lightning speed and surpasses many sophisticated cities around the world today. China is a very different country today than what many perceive. 

Parents in their 40-60's remember vividly the Cultural Revolution since many of them were children when it occurred. Yet, they thrived beyond the rubbles of poverty and dispair through sheer hard work and tenacity and rose to success. The industrial elite we see today are actually first generational   wealth and that is quite commendable. Like Jack Ma, the founder of Alibaba and Wang Jialin, founder of Dalian Wanda Group. They spent their youth in the Cultural Revolution and had very humble beginnings. They didn't have wealthy parents like many of our CEO's or billionaires where the wealth was passed on.

Jack Ma and his brother and sister during the Cultural Revolution

Wang Jianlin in the far right, joined the Red Army during the Cultural Revolution

Their education level might be sketchy since Chairman Mao shut down the school system so he can institute his ideologies. Healthcare was meager and scarce so many are shorter, have stained teeth, have leathery skin, lesions, scars and other setbacks from not having access to healthcare during that time. Their hands bear scars from toiling away in the fields. Many drank dirty water and consumed unsanitary food which affected their health. 

China today has plenty of access to healthcare, food supply, education and advanced infrastructure system. Therefore, the children today are taller and healthier looking. Their skin is lighter and supple, head full of hair. They can eat anything they want as there are culinary delights from worldwide in every corner. China is also the largest recipient of every technological innovation in the world. So the children have the latest gadgets and technology when just a generation before, their parents were watching a black and white TV that was shared with several people in their village. These privileged children do not have any idea about what their parents went through, other than what they read about in books about the Cultural Revolution. Being the children of one child policies, they also received all the privileges and luxuries as the only child. They are the new China.

China's Hipsters

This is the generation gap that is showcased in 'The Beijing Youths'.  I illustrate the vast difference between Simon as a young boy and his son at about the same age. Will they be able to bridge that gap or will it tear the family apart?

Thank you for buying my books!

Thank you Jeanine Austin for buying my entire book series and posting it on Instagram. You are an angel on earth. I am feeling so grateful. #SJHS #jestersisters rock! 

The Beijing Beauties - Definition of Happy Ending

"The Beijing Beauties" - Book 4

Just in time for Halloween - The Beijing Mummies

Just in time for Halloween - The Beijing Mummies. Frightful ancient mummies from China terrorizing the Wang family. Will they finally be put to rest? 

The Beijing Family book series is published!

The Beijing Family book series is published!  Whooppeeee!!!!

Check it out on Amazon: 

The Beijing Family book series

Author Interview: Johnny Ray, award winning international best selling novelist

Award Winning International Best Selling Novelist - Johnny Ray 

Tell us about yourself: 

I live in Clearwater, Florida where the white sand on the beaches here is as soft as flour. I am known to be in one of the over 500 coffee shops that line this 35 mile long beach string of beaches to St. Pete beach every morning. I truly feel like I am writing in paradise. I write full time, which is often 12 hour days. I am married to my Russian sweetheart and raising a 15 year old son. I have three grown children by a previous marriage. Since we travel so much, I have no pets. 

What type of music do you listen to when you write?

I love to listen to music, but almost always foreign music, and depending on where my setting is.

What are your hobbies besides writing?

Traveling with my wife,  enjoying wine, exercising, and making friends. 

When did you first realize you wanted to be a writer?

When I was in college, many years ago. 

How long have you been writing?

I have been writing seriously for about 10 years.

What inspired you to start writing?

I have always loved to write. It is the thrill of knowing that I have total control of my characters and setting. But more importantly, I love the ability to plot and keep my readers guessing. I want to give enough clues along the way that it is totally possible to figure out everything, but I want you the reader to say, oh me, I should have seen that coming–but I didn’t. 

Do you have any little ‘things’ you do or traditions you follow when you write?

I go to a lot of coffee shops, and write for at least 4 hours. I see no reason why I can’t enjoy life while I write. 

Where do you write? Do you have a dedicated space, a particular office or piece of machinery?

I always pick a different coffee shop to go to every morning. So be warned, if you look interesting while you drink your coffee, you might be in my novels.

What is something that you absolutely can't live without?

Other than family members, it would have to be the internet, I have so many friends worldwide and it is the only way for me to stay in touch with them. 

If you could have one paranormal ability, what would it be?

I think it would be to have the ability to be able to drift through time and space to see different worlds.

Do you have a favorite quote or saying?

I have a favorite toast, “to this moment and the moments to come.”

What are your favorite TV shows?

Castle. I love the way the mystery is plotted and the way the romance is mixed with the thrilling plots

What is your favorite meal?

Anything Italian. 

What group did you hang out with in high school?

I played football. 

What books have most influenced your life?

The Bible, Shakespeare, and Edgar Allen Poe.

What is one thing your readers would be most surprised to learn about you?

I love to dance. Well, maybe not too much of a surprise since I have dancing in many of my novels. I love salsa and tango. Yes, many years ago I was a national champion dancer, but that was a long time ago. 

When you are not writing what do you like to do?

I live on a beach, so everything is about having fun and enjoying the area. I also love to travel. Inviting friends over for me to cook for is one of my best times.

How did it feel to win the Royal Palm Literary award?

It was, naturally, a fantastic feeling, and the one thing that kept me going as I was establishing myself.

Tell us about this book (THE SALSA CONNECTION) that won?

When Nickolay Panov left St Petersburg, Russia to go to New York City for an international ballet competition 25 years ago, he was considered one of the best ballet dancers in Russia. The Americans say he was murdered. The Russians say he defected. In any case, he never returned. Just before Nickolay disappeared, several priceless paintings and icons from a major museum were stolen. While he was accused of the theft, no solid proof has ever been offered to tie him to it. However, evidence shows that the stolen goods were shipped to America. The CIA and the Russian Government are still pursuing all leads connected to the heist, and so is the Russian mafia.

Sveta was three years old when her father disappeared, so it’s a shock when, in the mail, she receives an invitation to a salsa dance competition in New York. At the bottom of the invitation is a note: “Please come to the competition and enter, my little lady.” No one but her father has ever called her that. Why has her father surfaced after all these years? Sveta wants answers, even if it means entering the late-night, sultry world of salsa dancing in St Petersburg and New York City and coming into uncomfortably close contact with the Russian mob.

What Must A Book That Want To Garner An Award Include?

This would include many things, including great writing, but also the ability to build characters and plot.

What's The Objective As A Writer For Writing This Book?

Several things, with the first be telling the story of a family struggling to make it in a crazy world, but also to give a history of the world of salsa. I love developing plots and want that to hold the reader’s interest.

Has There Been Rejection On The Salsa Connection Before It Got Finally Published? 

Yes, there were several. I also had some that wanted to publish it, but not pay me what I thought it was worth.

Are you self published or do you have a publisher? If self published, what made you decide to go that route?

I was with a publisher, but left, I have more control, make more money, and the fans get my work at a better price.

How long did it normally take you to write a book?

I can write a novel in 3 months, but it may take up to a year to get it polished.

What genre do you write in? What made you choose to write in that category?

I write international romantic thrillers, which is a mixture of romance and thriller. In some novels it is more thriller, and in others it is more romance.

"Rescuing Her Honor" - Johnny Ray's latest 

What is your work schedule like when you write?

I work around the clock, and can be up at 2 or 6 in the morning. I also tend to coffee shops almost every morning to write.

Where do you get your information or ideas for your books?

I do a lot of research, and much of it comes from friends from other countries since many of my novels also have an international setting. 

How many books have you written? Which is your favorite?

I write under several names and have 18 novels produced. I think my favorite would have to be THE SALSA CONNECTION, which won the Royal Palm Literary Award.

If you could have a book adapted to movie, what would you pick?

My own novel LITERARY AGENT–BEWARE. It has been converted to a screenplay, and several companies are looking at it. It is a very intense thriller, with a subtle, but lovely romance that holds it together.

What is something you'd like to accomplish in your writing career next year?

Make it to the top of the best seller list many places. And be known as the one person that a reader would turn to when they wanted to read an international romantic thriller.

Do you write in multiple genres or just one? If just one, do you ever consider straying outside your genre?

I write international romantic thrillers. I have written only one paranormal romance, one modern day romance, and one how to workbook.

Say your publisher has offered to fly you anywhere in the world to do research on an upcoming book, where would you most likely want to go?

Milan, Italy, since this is the location of an upcoming novel of mine.

How do you keep your writing different from all the others that write in this particular genre?

I do this my showing a point of view that I think is different. I hope to add the twist and turns that others have not considered. I also like to take chances that many will avoid. For example, I will write about a rape in the plot, but hopefully do it right so it is not too much or too little, just enough to move the story forward. To me, the plot is most critical, and it has to keep the story alive.

Do you hear from your readers much? What do they say?

Yes, I hear from many writers on both twitter and facebook. On twitter I have over 100,000 followers, so it can be very busy at times.

What is the most surprising thing you discovered while writing your books?

I think it would be how meaning of words change so much in around the world.

What was the hardest part in writing your books? How did you resolve it?

Getting started and putting a stop to the promotional work of the previous novel.

What was the easiest part in writing your books?

Writing the first version, where it is only a basic layout of the novel

Did you do research for your books?

I use the internet and travel to my locations to get a better feel for them.

What did that involve?

I big commitment in time and money

How do you come up with the titles to your books?

This is a hard one. I work very hard on condensing a novel to a few words. It can take months to get the right title.

Tell us something interesting about one of your books that is NOT in the blurb.

One thing about doing research, is finding out things that have changed. One of my favorite restaurants a while back in NYC was the top of the sixes. It has been replaced by a cigar bar, one of the most exclusive in the world. My hero has one vise–smoking cigars with his band of alpha males that work for him. In this case, it was a small change to the plot, but gives a deeper look into the hero and makes him more human.

What comes first, the plot or characters?

To me it is the plot. I am one of those that think plot is king.

How do you develop your plot and characters?

Every story starts with a moment of inspiration. Then, it has to grow, and develop as the plot thickens, so to speak, or should I say as it is written. While the characters should be fully fleshed out before you start, that is not very often the case. They change as the book and plot comes together. Often times, they can make a writer re-plot the book.

Do you ever suffer from writer’s block?

I am lucky that I never do. I work constantly, but often at different levels based on the novel I am working on.

If so, what do you do about it?

Like I said, I never had it, but I do get tired of writing at time, and like many people I love to get away from work to refresh my soul. This is also something I think all writers should do–take a vacation and some time to enjoy life outside writing occasionally.

What are the three pieces of advice you would give a new writer?

Make friends along the way. When all is said and done, this is what you will be left with one day. Next, find people who will give you an honest opinion. I have many beta readers who I have discovered over time who tell it to me straight. And finally, start building a list of your readers. These will be your core cheerleaders when you need to get the word out on your next book.

What words of encouragement do you have for those writers who has killed many nights to write a good book they thought would get sold instantly, but is still sitting in their drawers? 

Some stories are meant to remain in the drawers. It is all a learning process. Learn to enjoy the process, and it will all work out in the end. Also, learn to celebrate all victories.

Do you have any suggestions to help others become a better writer? If so, what are they?

Read! Read! Read! Read! Then write! write! and write some more. Then get a tough skin and let people tear your work apart so that you can learn for it.

What are the best and worst pieces of writing advice you ever received?

Both the same–keep writing! Yes, you need to write, but you also need to work on making it better. I remember one top selling writer tell me it was like this: Consider it a boxing match. If we are still toe to toe at the end of round ten, I win. In other words, I had to be better than him to win–to get published. By work would not be compared to others wanting to make it, but against the best out there.

If you had to do your journey to getting published all over again, what would you do differently?

Seek professional help early in the way of edits and advice.

What, in your opinion, are the most important elements of good writing?

To take total control of the writing process, and have the ability to keep pushing to make it better.

All the most successful books show creativity and interesting writing techniques.  What must a writer do to write a best seller? 

Best sellers have to have that extra edge. You can not be as good as other great writers, you have to be better. To generate sales you have to make the book so good, readers want to share it with others. Having something to say is very important. Bad grammar, typos, etc, can always be edited. A bad story will always be a bad story.

What advice would you give a new writer just starting out?

Make friends that can give you feedback and go to many conferences. And always write! And always be prepared to do it over and over, and have it shredded by many people. In fact, ask that it be shown no mercy. And be sure to make many friends along the way. You will need their support often.

To all aspiring writers I want to say when demoralization kicks in the door and you feel like after all your failures, writing couldn't have been the way for you to have so much pains, remember your first love for the profession. For me, when I started writing I didn't think about getting published. I've known that I wanted to be a writer even when I had no deeper understanding of what that means. Not until the calling came for me, I didn't think about the fame and the fortune. Please, keep your head high if you are having it rough in the field. While it's always like that, there is also a good ending for them who remain committed.

 Do you have other talents besides writing that you’d like to share?

I am very big on social media, and have over 250,000 followers just on twitter alone. I am also a public speaker.

Is there a writer you idolize? If so who?

Jack Higgins. He is such a master at what he does. Another would be Paulo Coelho who is a fantastic writer, and one with over 7,500,000 followers on twitter. 

What are you reading now?

THE POWER TRIP by Jackie Collins.

What books or authors have most influenced your own writing?

Jackie Collins. I have read everything she has written. She writes in a clear commercial style that is easy to follow. She has written so many novels, yet she finds a way to keep each one fresh and different.

Are you working on anything at the present you would like to tell us about? 

My next novel is about a current-day ultimate female warrior who will one day be queen of her small hidden country in central Europe. She has her own twitter account where she is ladymatalina, and she has already attracted 8500 followers.

What do you want to say to your readers?

I hope you enjoy my work and want to read the next one and the next . . . and become a fan, and a friend as we enjoy life together. On my blog you will see a way you can sign up for my fan club--SIR JOHN'S ARMY.

Where can your readers find you?

You can connect with me on: 

Facebook http://on.fb.me/dlgWwW

Goodreads http://bit.ly/vPvNQa

Blog http://bit.ly/1adGAp

Amazon http://amzn.to/H7VlFp

e-mail sirjohn@wwisp.com

Where can your books be found? 

I sell with Amazon in the kindle select program.  Here is the link http://www.amazon.com/Johnny-Ray/e/B0059G01XQ. I also sell them through Barnes and Noble, Smashwords, Books A Million, Flipkart, Kobo, Play.com.  For updates on where to find my books, please visit my blog at: http://bit.ly/1adGAp. 

*All data including images and videos for this interview was used with the permission of the author.  They belong to the rightful owner and this blog claims no ownership. 

I'm an entertaining author, never boring!

As an author, I watch alot of movies. Maybe that's why many of my readers say that my writing is more entertaining. It's never boring. I develop the plot and narrative. Then I get into the minds and 5 senses of my characters and create the scenes. Almost seeing the scenes by every second and word in my head, I make it come to life on paper!